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CON-SCIOUS EXPRESSIONS

Robert Matthews

My name is Robert Matthews #H34190 and I am 28 years old. I am an inmate at Walton Correctional Institution. I am in the re-entry dorm working on becoming a better man. This program is the reason I was able to write this poem for my son. It was the ability to forgive myself that the program gave me. My son passed away in 2007 on his second birthday. I still deal with the pain every day and I hope it’s able to help someone cope with the inner pain they may feel. I hope that it helps you realize you’re not alone and that it’s gonna be okay. Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations. Whatever happens to us in life can be stumbling blocks that hold us down or stepping stones that help us rise. I choose to rise to the top.

Alan

It's been a long while,
Lot longer than a country mile,
Since I seen ya smile.
For me it’s been trial to trial.

After ya went to be with the Lord,
I started a death sentence tour,
My heart is still sore,
How did God think I could handle more?

Shortly after ya died,
Ya Mother committed suicide.
I was left with nobody by my side.
Anybody know my pain or the tears I still cry?

Drinkin’ and doin’ drugs to mask the inner pain,
Visions of those horrible days still haunt my brain,
Dreams of losin ya over and over again.
They say it’s a miracle I didn’t go insane.

I pray ya lookin’ down,
Even after all my trials,
Ya can say “daddy ya make me proud”.
It’ll all be worth it for just one of ya smiles.

- Robert Matthews

Alan